The girl was nervous She looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach. Her face was in fear and she was shacked her hand and her hand started to sweat like a rain. She wiped her hand in her shirt and she was in big panic. Her eyes shifted around looking at anything but the teacher. She walked to the room very quietly try to hide from everyone else in the room. When she sat down in the table, she tapped pen incessantly on table and she knee shacked while waiting for paper to be handed out.
Good try Seo Young. Seems like walking in the room should be how the paragraph should start. I don't know where she is at the beginning of the paragraph. Seems like she's already in the room.
Before the test the girl looked panic. She was shaking her leg, rubbing sweaty hand and tapping pen incessantly. She reviewed notes and ask other for more information. Her eyes shifted around looking at anything but the teacher. She looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach. When she was waiting for the test she was fidgeting in her chair doodling on her notebook.
Good try Minseo. Just make sure when you put the actions together they make sense. First she's searching for notes but then she's just waiting and fidgeting and doodling on her notebook. Perhaps shes need to 'give up' trying to study first and then your last sentence would make more sense.
She walked into the room quietly, her eyes shifting around, trying to look at anything but the teacher. She sat in her chair, feeling sick to the stomach, and started reviewing her notes, flipping through her text book, doing everything she could do to study for the test. She fidgeted in her chair, tapping her pen incessantly, sighing and shaking as the worry took over her.
I can feel that she is panicked before the test starts! I like you are showing she is nervous by saying "flipping through her text book" :)))))))) You are describing well in short paragraph! by Tomoko
It was just before test. Anna walked into the room, shifted her eyes around, looking at nothing but the teacher. She quickly took out her notes and reviewed. "Ok, close your books and let's start our test." the teacher said. Anna tapped her pen incessantly on the table like she was sick with her stomach. She inhaled a deep breath with her worried smile and out haled as if she was sighing.
Good Jane. Great action, good showing. Only be sure if you add dialogue (Great idea) that you tab so its starts on a new line (every time someone speaks it starts on a new line)
it was 5 minutes before the test. the new girl walked into the room quietly with her eyes shifted looking at anything but the teacher. she was tapping her pen incessantly and was very desperate to ask others. she was sighing and looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach. she was paniced so much that she started shaking and started to loose focus. the papers were handed out and she was very worried.
she was walking in the classroom biting her fingers, she was very nervous, she sat down at her desk. She wasn't allowed to sit next to anyone because there was a test, she was fidgeting with her pencil, and shaking her leg, not looking at the teacher. Then the teacher started talking, and handed out the tests, the girl asked "how long do we get on the test?" she answered " 50 minutes " Then they all started the test, she was biting her pen when she was confused. After the teacher said "was the test easy" she answered with a monosyllable " i dont know "
It was obvious. She wasn't prepared. People rarely were. Even so, the teachers say that is not a good excuse. She knew this. She had every right to look like she was about to throw up. She had every right to be fidgeting with what she didn't know was an illegal substance that used to be owned by the Dealer. She had especial rights to to be oblivious to the fact that this anxiety and paranoia would be her downfall. It was the fact that she didn't know that let her let the shivering take over. It was the fact she didn't know that let walk into the room, shifting her eyes, not being able to look at anyone else but her friend, who she was bribing for information that she want to make sure of. It was the fact she didn't know that made her forgetful stress, get old,hyperventilate, have poor judgment and and.. and.. and be nervous. The girl was nervous.
Wow this is highly creative and original. I don't quite get the 'dealer' part. Why does she have an illegal substance. (not clear but perhaps its part of a longer story).just make sure it makes sense.
The girl stepped into the room quietly with eyes shifting from one side of the room to the other, looking at anything or anyone besides the teacher, finally sits in her chair but fidgeting it and tapping her pen against the edge of the table, she looked sick but then she had a worried face and she just realized she has forgotten something important that will be in her test, so she quickly runs through her notebook panicking to try and review to understand what to do for something important in her test, then desperately this to ask others questions, then he teacher say “Time for the test girls and boys”, but she doesn't have the answer so she shakes her head devastated, sighing, and wiping the sweat of her face in depression and just hopping she do good in her test.
her test was about to start in 10 minutes. she walked into the room quietly, her eyes shuffled around looking at anything but the teacher. she looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach and started fidgeting in her chair doodling on her notebook. the test was about to start soon and the students had 3 minutes to review their notes. she panicked and desperately asked others for information.
good job sohrim! :) :) :) i really liked your story about the test and how she was going to be sick in her stomach.. i could really picture her being nervous..
She sat there, in the cold and empty room. Waiting for her classmates and her teacher to arrive. She sat there feeling sick in her stomach, thinking of the time when her teacher will say "Class, time for the test" She immediately screamed and started reviewing her notes like crazy; soon she flipped and tossed over the table.
Firstly she walked into the class room feeling very nervous to talked in front of her class, siting silently fidgeting with a pen going ‘click click click’ while twirling her hair. Mouth feeling very dry that she wants to drink a lot of water then she had to pee. Her brain was feeling a million miles away so when her teacher said ‘;are you listening’ she replied with ‘huh’ as though she wasn’t listening.
I like that you are telling that she is nervous by saying her mouth feels very dry. It is very realistic! I also like that you are describing "she was not listening to the teacher" as "her brain was feeling a million miles away" :) (my name is written in Japanese but I am Tomoko!)
As she went to school bus, she started to worry about her speech which was starting on today. She practiced her speech in the school bus as she could with shivering body, chattering teeth and pounding heart. She didn't stop even she was sweating because she thought that it wasn't perfect. She gripped her hand and bit her nail as she make a mistake, while she is trembling her legs, tapping her legs with other hand. Every time she finished practicing her speech, she looked at other partners. She was more sweating and became more quiet every time as her partners wasn't trembling, playing games with their friends.
She looked at the clock and suddenly stood up, running towards the toilet. 10 minutes later, she came back looking a bit pale. Her teeth were chattering and her body was shivering. She seemed like she couldn't concentrate without doing something, like now she was biting her nails. Looking carefully, I could see she was sweating a lot and was gazing around with her eyes. Her actions were getting bigger. First of all, she was twirling her hair with fingers but now she was scratching her head as she got mad. She was tapping tables and was clicking a pen loudly. The exam's time was getting closer. She was crazily reading the textbooks piled up in front of her.
This descriptive story is right on the money! It has descriptive language, action and suspense, but doesn't overpower the story with too much action, which altogether, balances the sentence structure and dialogue to create a humorous, but descriptive, story.
She was nervous As I enter the class room I see a girl sitting alone on a table in the corner of the room, she is twirling her long brown hair and looking around the room rapidly. She had sweat coming down her freckled face; the teacher stepped in and took a seat. She stopped twirling her hair and started clicking her blue pen, thinking how the teacher would react when the teacher ask for her homework. The teacher stood up and ask us to take out our homework, she started to sweat even more and clicking her pen even more rapidly. The teacher walked around the room taking everyone’s homework and when the teacher came to her, she looked at the teacher scarily. Finally the teacher ask her and she said in a weak and soft voice that she has lost it, the teacher looked at her angrily and told the girl to see her after school.
This is great Markus - I like how you really make the reader feel the suspense as the teacher walks around the room - we can understand how nervous she is through her reaction to the teacher. I bet you have never felt like that!
Firstly she walked into the class room feeling very nervous to talked in front of her class, siting silently fidgeting with a pen going ‘click click click’ while twirling her hair. Mouth feeling very dry that she wants to drink a lot of water then she had to pee. Her brain was feeling a million miles away so when her teacher said ‘;are you listening’ she replied with ‘huh’ as though she wasn’t listening.
She was nervous. Her turn to talk in front of the class is approaching. The nearer the time, the more agitated she is. Just by looking at her you'll know. There is a fine sheen of sweat on top of her upper lips and at her forehead. And when she's not twisting her hands, she bites her nails as her eyes keep looking around the room. The girl who's sitting next to her can even see her body trembles and her hands shake unsteadily.
She Was Nervous She keeps twirling her hair over and over again while tapping her feet, when the others was presenting .She reads her work over and over again, she keeps asking the teacher if she can go to the toilet, coming back biting her nails, she was shivering a lot, sweating and quiet .She keeps moving her body and looking everywhere with her eyes. She holds her chest firmly when the teacher asks her to present her presentation
As Keira prepared for her piano recital, she felt sick to her stomach. Keira trembled like jelly at the fact she would hit incorrect notes on the piano keys. She felt nauseous every time this prediction (unworthy of a pianist) came to her brain. Keira practiced her piano piece over and over again, thinking in her mind that she was already at the audition. Soon, Keira's family set off to the venue of the recital. In the car, Keira fumbled with her sheet music and scratched her hair wildly. She read and mimed the notes until the final flourish of the piece. When the family arrived at the venue, Keira froze and went out cold, like a static statue. Her mother had to force her out of the car after she was "unable" to move. She stayed quiet, unconscious and still until the family got to the main concert hall.
She was nervous Be for e her test s reported. She kept moved her body constantly, she looked around the room, with biting her nails, her teeth was chattering and, I can see her hand was full of sweat, after butting her nail, she kept clicked her pen which really disturbed others. So Mrs. Bailey, our history and English teacher, warned her to stop clicking the pen, but she looked like she can’t hear anything. So, I touched her softly, to stop her from clicking the pen. Then suddenly she stand up and shouted aloud,” Yes, Mrs!”, I felt that she was surprised really much. Then she started to move around, to toilet to classroom, with hand that, twirling and scratch her brown, short hair that is messy as like lions. Then she accidently fell down, I predict she was so nervous that, she wasn’t even see chair in front of her, when, I went to help her to stand up I was able to hear her heart beat, it was so aloud and rough in middle of quite class. I was able to feel how much she is scared and nervous. Finally, Mrs. Bailey brought our test result, her test score was A, which is really nice when half of our class got C. Finally with the test shit on her hand with marked with A wrriten in Red pen, She stopped everything she did busily than she smiled. I could feel she was happy. Ha young
She read her work over and over. She was unable to concentrate because she couldn’t hear anything except her heartbeat. She shivered and moved her body. She looked around with her eyes. Her heart was pounding loudly so that everybody could hear it. She scratched her head and twirled and fiddled with her hair. Then, she bit her nails while sweating all over her face. As the time passed, she began to click the pen and tap the table. Right after her name is called, she really felt that she has to go to the toilet.
She quickly rushed into the class, sitting down faster than you could say "hi" and placed her bag down as fast as she could. Shoving her hand into her bag furiously trying to grab all of her equipment. The teacher was giving instructions for the class, she was sweating like a pig, tapping her fingers and quickly looking everywhere barley listening to what the teacher was saying. She slammed her book on the table and opened it to a blank page and started to work furiously on her work but eventually stopped and started to read here work over and over again clicking her pen like a mad-woman as the class was pulling to a end. The teacher started to check homework which caused her to shake and shiver, biting her nails as the teacher drew closer and closer to her. She didn't do her homework.
Elsa walked in the classroom silently as she was biting her nails rapidly from her twisted sweaty hands that has been touching lots of things, as Elsa found a seat her teeth started chattering loudly and her body started shivering that all the students in the class started staring at her. As the class started she was confused to what she had to do so she was tapping the table and clicking her pen making the whole class annoyed which made her not concentrate and couldn’t hear anything, Elsa started sweating because she started to feel like the whole class was starting to hate her, so she became quiet all through the whole entire lesson so nobody will stare at her anymore and needing to go to the toilet every time, when finally Elsa did her work she checked it and read it over and over again she couldn’t stop, the teacher went to her and ask if she needed any help she replied with a quiet voice, Elsa hasn’t concentrated of what the teacher was saying, she kept curling her hair, the teacher went back to her desk wondering what is going on with her and why she was silent all through the lesson.
Very, very cute story! You added descriptive language, suspense and balanced the sentence structure to create a very humorous description of Elsa's wacky behavior. (XOX!)
The girl was nervous
ReplyDeleteShe looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach. Her face was in fear and she was shacked her hand and her hand started to sweat like a rain. She wiped her hand in her shirt and she was in big panic. Her eyes shifted around looking at anything but the teacher. She walked to the room very quietly try to hide from everyone else in the room. When she sat down in the table, she tapped pen incessantly on table and she knee shacked while waiting for paper to be handed out.
by: Seo Young 8A
Good try Seo Young. Seems like walking in the room should be how the paragraph should start. I don't know where she is at the beginning of the paragraph. Seems like she's already in the room.
DeleteAlso be careful - its shook not 'shacked'
I love the last sentence!
Before the test the girl looked panic. She was shaking her leg, rubbing sweaty hand and tapping pen incessantly. She reviewed notes and ask other for more information. Her eyes shifted around looking at anything but the teacher. She looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach. When she was waiting for the test she was fidgeting in her chair doodling on her notebook.
ReplyDeleteBy Minseo Kim 8A
Good try Minseo. Just make sure when you put the actions together they make sense. First she's searching for notes but then she's just waiting and fidgeting and doodling on her notebook. Perhaps shes need to 'give up' trying to study first and then your last sentence would make more sense.
DeleteShe walked into the room quietly, her eyes shifting around, trying to look at anything but the teacher. She sat in her chair, feeling sick to the stomach, and started reviewing her notes, flipping through her text book, doing everything she could do to study for the test. She fidgeted in her chair, tapping her pen incessantly, sighing and shaking as the worry took over her.
ReplyDeleteI can feel that she is panicked before the test starts! I like you are showing she is nervous by saying "flipping through her text book" :)))))))) You are describing well in short paragraph!
Deleteby Tomoko
I like how yuo describe girl who was nervous cause of test, I can feel and imagine how much does she scared and nervous
DeleteLOVE THE LAST SENTENCE!
DeleteIt was just before test. Anna walked into the room, shifted her eyes around, looking at nothing but the teacher. She quickly took out her notes and reviewed. "Ok, close your books and let's start our test." the teacher said. Anna tapped her pen incessantly on the table like she was sick with her stomach. She inhaled a deep breath with her worried smile and out haled as if she was sighing.
ReplyDeletei really like yours. It pictures Anna being nervous, its like when im nervous and the your story is not so long and not so short
DeleteI like your sentence that, make me able to imagine the girl who is scared of the test
DeleteGood Jane. Great action, good showing. Only be sure if you add dialogue (Great idea) that you tab so its starts on a new line (every time someone speaks it starts on a new line)
Deleteit was 5 minutes before the test. the new girl walked into the room quietly with her eyes shifted looking at anything but the teacher. she was tapping her pen incessantly and was very desperate to ask others. she was sighing and looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach. she was paniced so much that she started shaking and started to loose focus. the papers were handed out and she was very worried.
ReplyDeletei like your story Putri, how you mention she is a new girl and i like your story about that she was going to be sick
Deleteshe was walking in the classroom biting her fingers, she was very nervous, she sat down at her desk. She wasn't allowed to sit next to anyone because there was a test, she was fidgeting with her pencil, and shaking her leg, not looking at the teacher. Then the teacher started talking, and handed out the tests, the girl asked "how long do we get on the test?" she answered " 50 minutes " Then they all started the test, she was biting her pen when she was confused. After the teacher said "was the test easy" she answered with a monosyllable " i dont know "
ReplyDeleteIt was obvious. She wasn't prepared. People rarely were. Even so, the teachers say that is not a good excuse. She knew this. She had every right to look like she was about to throw up. She had every right to be fidgeting with what she didn't know was an illegal substance that used to be owned by the Dealer. She had especial rights to to be oblivious to the fact that this anxiety and paranoia would be her downfall. It was the fact that she didn't know that let her let the shivering take over. It was the fact she didn't know that let walk into the room, shifting her eyes, not being able to look at anyone else but her friend, who she was bribing for information that she want to make sure of. It was the fact she didn't know that made her forgetful stress, get old,hyperventilate, have poor judgment and
ReplyDeleteand..
and..
and be nervous.
The girl was nervous.
By wisesa
Wow this is highly creative and original. I don't quite get the 'dealer' part. Why does she have an illegal substance. (not clear but perhaps its part of a longer story).just make sure it makes sense.
DeleteThe girl stepped into the room quietly with eyes shifting from one side of the room to the other, looking at anything or anyone besides the teacher, finally sits in her chair but fidgeting it and tapping her pen against the edge of the table, she looked sick but then she had a worried face and she just realized she has forgotten something important that will be in her test, so she quickly runs through her notebook panicking to try and review to understand what to do for something important in her test, then desperately this to ask others questions, then he teacher say “Time for the test girls and boys”, but she doesn't have the answer so she shakes her head devastated, sighing, and wiping the sweat of her face in depression and just hopping she do good in her test.
ReplyDeleteGood work Jordan. Try to use full stops not commas. Great showing.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteher test was about to start in 10 minutes. she walked into the room quietly, her eyes shuffled around looking at anything but the teacher. she looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach and started fidgeting in her chair doodling on her notebook. the test was about to start soon and the students had 3 minutes to review their notes. she panicked and desperately asked others for information.
ReplyDeletegood job sohrim! :) :) :) i really liked your story about the test and how she was going to be sick in her stomach.. i could really picture her being nervous..
DeleteGood action. This makes sense. Please use capital letters when you start a sentence.
DeleteShe sat there, in the cold and empty room. Waiting for her classmates and her teacher to arrive. She sat there feeling sick in her stomach, thinking of the time when her teacher will say "Class, time for the test" She immediately screamed and started reviewing her notes like crazy; soon she flipped and tossed over the table.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYour story has great action, very extreme action.
DeleteFirstly she walked into the class room feeling very nervous to talked in front of her class, siting silently fidgeting with a pen going ‘click click click’ while twirling her hair. Mouth feeling very dry that she wants to drink a lot of water then she had to pee. Her brain was feeling a million miles away so when her teacher said ‘;are you listening’ she replied with ‘huh’ as though she wasn’t listening.
ReplyDeleteI like that you are telling that she is nervous by saying her mouth feels very dry. It is very realistic! I also like that you are describing "she was not listening to the teacher" as "her brain was feeling a million miles away" :)
Delete(my name is written in Japanese but I am Tomoko!)
As she went to school bus, she started to worry about her speech which was starting on today. She practiced her speech in the school bus as she could with shivering body, chattering teeth and pounding heart. She didn't stop even she was sweating because she thought that it wasn't perfect. She gripped her hand and bit her nail as she make a mistake, while she is trembling her legs, tapping her legs with other hand. Every time she finished practicing her speech, she looked at other partners. She was more sweating and became more quiet every time as her partners wasn't trembling, playing games with their friends.
ReplyDeleteShe looked at the clock and suddenly stood up, running towards the toilet. 10 minutes later, she came back looking a bit pale. Her teeth were chattering and her body was shivering. She seemed like she couldn't concentrate without doing something, like now she was biting her nails. Looking carefully, I could see she was sweating a lot and was gazing around with her eyes. Her actions were getting bigger. First of all, she was twirling her hair with fingers but now she was scratching her head as she got mad. She was tapping tables and was clicking a pen loudly. The exam's time was getting closer. She was crazily reading the textbooks piled up in front of her.
ReplyDeleteThis descriptive story is right on the money! It has descriptive language, action and suspense, but doesn't overpower the story with too much action, which altogether, balances the sentence structure and dialogue to create a humorous, but descriptive, story.
DeleteShe was nervous
ReplyDeleteAs I enter the class room I see a girl sitting alone on a table in the corner of the room, she is twirling her long brown hair and looking around the room rapidly. She had sweat coming down her freckled face; the teacher stepped in and took a seat. She stopped twirling her hair and started clicking her blue pen, thinking how the teacher would react when the teacher ask for her homework. The teacher stood up and ask us to take out our homework, she started to sweat even more and clicking her pen even more rapidly. The teacher walked around the room taking everyone’s homework and when the teacher came to her, she looked at the teacher scarily. Finally the teacher ask her and she said in a weak and soft voice that she has lost it, the teacher looked at her angrily and told the girl to see her after school.
i really like your story.. good job because it really tells us what she is thinking, and i can really picture the girl being nervous.. :)
DeleteThis is great Markus - I like how you really make the reader feel the suspense as the teacher walks around the room - we can understand how nervous she is through her reaction to the teacher. I bet you have never felt like that!
DeleteI really know the fear - great Markus because i can feel her feelings.
DeleteI love it Markus. I like how you add words to describe her like freckled face. So good
DeleteThis is really good i really liked how you describe what she looks like
Delete-putri and char
She was nervous
ReplyDeleteFirstly she walked into the class room feeling very nervous to talked in front of her class, siting silently fidgeting with a pen going ‘click click click’ while twirling her hair. Mouth feeling very dry that she wants to drink a lot of water then she had to pee. Her brain was feeling a million miles away so when her teacher said ‘;are you listening’ she replied with ‘huh’ as though she wasn’t listening.
She was nervous.
ReplyDeleteHer turn to talk in front of the class is approaching. The nearer the time, the more agitated she is. Just by looking at her you'll know. There is a fine sheen of sweat on top of her upper lips and at her forehead. And when she's not twisting her hands, she bites her nails as her eyes keep looking around the room. The girl who's sitting next to her can even see her body trembles and her hands shake unsteadily.
Wow Rebecca, you really use good words to show how nervous the girl is - "agitated" and "unsteadily" - these words really bring the story to life.
DeleteAwesome Rebecca!
DeleteShe Was Nervous
ReplyDeleteShe keeps twirling her hair over and over again while tapping her feet, when the others was presenting .She reads her work over and over again, she keeps asking the teacher if she can go to the toilet, coming back biting her nails, she was shivering a lot, sweating and quiet .She keeps moving her body and looking everywhere with her eyes. She holds her chest firmly when the teacher asks her to present her presentation
This is Albert's.
DeleteAs Keira prepared for her piano recital, she felt sick to her stomach. Keira trembled like jelly at the fact she would hit incorrect notes on the piano keys. She felt nauseous every time this prediction (unworthy of a pianist) came to her brain. Keira practiced her piano piece over and over again, thinking in her mind that she was already at the audition. Soon, Keira's family set off to the venue of the recital. In the car, Keira fumbled with her sheet music and scratched her hair wildly. She read and mimed the notes until the final flourish of the piece. When the family arrived at the venue, Keira froze and went out cold, like a static statue. Her mother had to force her out of the car after she was "unable" to move. She stayed quiet, unconscious and still until the family got to the main concert hall.
ReplyDeleteGood one joey, really detailed.
DeleteYour story was pretty amazing with great action, massive showing, fantastic suspense and amazing dialogue
DeleteGood sentence structure.
DeleteYour describing words are very detailed and I can see a lot of amazing action
DeleteThis is great joey!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteShe was nervous
ReplyDeleteBe for e her test s reported. She kept moved her body constantly, she looked around the room, with biting her nails, her teeth was chattering and, I can see her hand was full of sweat, after butting her nail, she kept clicked her pen which really disturbed others. So Mrs. Bailey, our history and English teacher, warned her to stop clicking the pen, but she looked like she can’t hear anything. So, I touched her softly, to stop her from clicking the pen. Then suddenly she stand up and shouted aloud,” Yes, Mrs!”, I felt that she was surprised really much. Then she started to move around, to toilet to classroom, with hand that, twirling and scratch her brown, short hair that is messy as like lions. Then she accidently fell down, I predict she was so nervous that, she wasn’t even see chair in front of her, when, I went to help her to stand up I was able to hear her heart beat, it was so aloud and rough in middle of quite class. I was able to feel how much she is scared and nervous. Finally, Mrs. Bailey brought our test result, her test score was A, which is really nice when half of our class got C. Finally with the test shit on her hand with marked with A wrriten in Red pen, She stopped everything she did busily than she smiled. I could feel she was happy.
Ha young
Good showing
DeleteShe read her work over and over. She was unable to concentrate because she couldn’t hear anything except her heartbeat. She shivered and moved her body. She looked around with her eyes. Her heart was pounding loudly so that everybody could hear it. She scratched her head and twirled and fiddled with her hair. Then, she bit her nails while sweating all over her face. As the time passed, she began to click the pen and tap the table. Right after her name is called, she really felt that she has to go to the toilet.
ReplyDeleteShe quickly rushed into the class, sitting down faster than you could say "hi" and placed her bag down as fast as she could. Shoving her hand into her bag furiously trying to grab all of her equipment. The teacher was giving instructions for the class, she was sweating like a pig, tapping her fingers and quickly looking everywhere barley listening to what the teacher was saying. She slammed her book on the table and opened it to a blank page and started to work furiously on her work but eventually stopped and started to read here work over and over again clicking her pen like a mad-woman as the class was pulling to a end. The teacher started to check homework which caused her to shake and shiver, biting her nails as the teacher drew closer and closer to her. She didn't do her homework.
ReplyDeleteShe was nervous (New Girl)
ReplyDeleteElsa walked in the classroom silently as she was biting her nails rapidly from her twisted sweaty hands that has been touching lots of things, as Elsa found a seat her teeth started chattering loudly and her body started shivering that all the students in the class started staring at her. As the class started she was confused to what she had to do so she was tapping the table and clicking her pen making the whole class annoyed which made her not concentrate and couldn’t hear anything, Elsa started sweating because she started to feel like the whole class was starting to hate her, so she became quiet all through the whole entire lesson so nobody will stare at her anymore and needing to go to the toilet every time, when finally Elsa did her work she checked it and read it over and over again she couldn’t stop, the teacher went to her and ask if she needed any help she replied with a quiet voice, Elsa hasn’t concentrated of what the teacher was saying, she kept curling her hair, the teacher went back to her desk wondering what is going on with her and why she was silent all through the lesson.
Very, very cute story! You added descriptive language, suspense and balanced the sentence structure to create a very humorous description of Elsa's wacky behavior. (XOX!)
Deleteso cool nima your showing sentences was really amazing
Delete- put and char